The Stories of Thoth and Ma'at:

 

The Neter News: Penis Watch. Details at 11

 

For Background, see Previous Stories

 

 THOTH is at the temple pylon, as before, scanning the moonlit horizon, waiting for ANUBIS, whose KHU in dog form runs across the upper space and vanishes over the pylon. ANUBIS now appears in human form inside the pylon, beckoning THOTH.

ANUBIS:

Mr. Prime Minister, I have the--

THOTH:

Will you please not call me that?

ANUBIS:

I'm sorry.

THOTH:

I believe not. This keeps happening.

ANUBIS:

I have been flippant. I have the news.

THOTH:

Finally.

ANUBIS:

The penis watch is over. We have located it.

THOTH:

Yes? And??

ANUBIS:

I feel this part is best disclosed privately at first.

THOTH:

(To CELEBRANTS:) Our apologies. Please excuse us.

THOTH and ANUBIS retreat into the pylon, but are still visible and audible on screen through a video camera behind them, showing CELEBRANTS in the background. MA'AT KHU appears, hovers at middle distance.

THOTH:

Is this news going to cause emotional upset for some?

ANUBIS:

I believe so. But it gets worse.

THOTH:

Go on.

MA'AT KHU:

Anubis was in no great hurry. At first he revealed only to Thoth that the King's penis had been eaten by one of the river animals, and that . . .

ANUBIS:

I would understand if it had been done by a crocodile, we hope not a hippopo- tamus, but maybe a long river pike, even a dolphin. But it was-- (Whispers to THOTH.)

THOTH:

(Recoiling.) Ohhh. Rare! The sandstone cartoonists will have a festival with this.

ANUBIS:

That they will.

THOTH:

An oxyrynchos fish. What could be more uproarious?

(Distant LAUGHTER.) THOTH and ANUBIS cross to BOAT. THOTH to OSIRIS, within:)

 

THOTH:

Did you hear?

OSIRIS: (Within:)

Yes! Shocking! Wonderful! What amazing blends and becomings in this realm.

THOTH:

I agree. It will certainly not be dull for you at this time. Queen Isis is . . . oh, that fragrance is like a bell of clover singing across a valley.

OSIRIS:

No matter what happens here, it has a bizarre beauty. And we haven't even given them all the grain secrets yet.

AROMA: ISIS' fragrance precedes her in jasmine, raspberry, myrrh and lavender.

ANUBIS:

(Sniffing.) Oh, my. What an experience. That aroma does say Now.

OSIRIS:

What aroma?

ANUBIS:

Father, please tell me you are joking.

OSIRIS:

No.

THOTH:

Your majesty, please, just take a deep breath.

OSIRIS:

Oh. That aroma.

MA'AT

Well, no matter what else is disputed, we know you're really Osiris.

OSIRIS:

What do you mean?

THOTH:

Never mind. (Exchanging meaningful looks with ANUBIS.) My mistake.

OSIRIS:

Please. Tell me.

ANUBIS:

That aroma is like a flood, a force of nature. How can you not smell it?

MA'AT

It's about your nose.

OSIRIS:

Which is exactly what it should be. I keep trying to tell you. I'm not here to smell, I'm here to be smelled. I'm a plant. I do my best work in the soil and the water.

THOTH:

(To CELEBRANTS:)  I will be so happy when Horus is born and comes to rule, and I can go back to writing and inventing. (To OSIRIS:) Please sit up, my lord. Please tell me what you see there. Do you see the lady in her beauty?

OSIRIS:

Oh.

THOTH:

(To ANUBIS:) We are about to become a crowd. Shall we?

THOTH and ANUBIS exit. THOTH KHU appears above, hovering at high distance. He is Born MUSIC begins. Enter ISIS.

 

Where would you like to go?

 

I want to see the end of Act Three,

and How Isis and Osiris Bring in Horus

 

I want to go on to Act Four

 

Or I can go back to Other Scenes

 

Or go to Stories of Thoth and Ma'at or the Playbill 

 

Copyright 2002 Dan Furst

 

 

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