The Stories of Thoth and Ma'at:


The Neter News Gossip Report: For Mature Audiences Only!



Yes, believe it or not, amazingly enough now, we have to be delicate about the things we tell you, and how we tell you, so we can be kind about the impact the news may have on you. And we even, as you've just seen, talk in whispers and secrets, to hide things from one another. Yes?


Yes. In this density it is so.


MA'AT KHU now appears, as THOTH remains onstage. Near him diagrams -- the temple plan, the chakras of OSIRIS, etc. -- appear on the walls of the Space.




You see how it is now? Ever since Set invented lying when he tricked Osiris into the box, we have more wiggly little ways around the truth. I distract Isis so the latest news won't cause her pain. I improvise poetry to cover what I fly up here beyond the Queen's ears to tell you.

And yes, as the engineers are reminding me, by all means, if you'd like to assist us in finishing this temple, we'd be most grateful for your help.

Now. You've already figured out which part of the King's body is still missing. All together now, Yes! The Penis. What else could it be? How are Isis and Osiris going to do the act of love if the King's penis is missing? This is what we call a complication in the play.

The two lovers, the King and the Queen, as I was starting to tell you, can create if they must from the force of their union, from their sheer intention, a penis of pure light and energy to link their bodies. They don't need to be joined anymore by a penis of flesh to open their son's spirit. Their intention is enough. And this is just as well. We've heard from the river Neters and the animals as we go that Osiris' penis has actually been eaten by someone in the river. Some crocodile or quick fish in there is feeling complete bliss at this moment, and smelling so much like the King's own rose tree that Anubis will soon find him. Do you feel as uncomfortable about this as I do? Imagine. The acting prime minister of Egypt has to fly inside a cloud here in order to conceal from the Queen, but report to you, the latest news about the search for the King's penis. Who has it? Will we interview fish? No, not yet, thank heaven. I hope it isn't true that in this realm what goes around comes around all the time, so my punishment for talking so much in the first part of this story is that now I have to report this junk news in order to pay the cosmic debt. Yah! Live and aspire to learn!


Then let me take it.

MA'AT KHU vanishes. MA'AT enters and crosses to THOTH.


You don't mind?


Of course not.


This material is so impure by your standards. I don't believe it deserves the Goddess of Truth herself.


Who else can tell it without laughing or going for the cheap, easy angle?


Thank you. Time to aerate the quills.

THOTH exits, then his KHU appears and dips his wings toward MA'AT as he flies away.


The truth is that jokes about the King's missing penis are bubbling through the kingdom like fruit flies. (ENSEMBLE Background: whispers and laughter.) Everybody has one. No flat sandstone or piece of clay bigger than a baby's fist is safe from having something scratched on it about the crocodile with the smile, or the royal sentry and his river vacation, or the snake that loved to look at the stars. This was the time when gossip infected many people, and they fell into silliness. The human mind began to go dim as the mouth got faster. From now.

Where you go from here in the play depends on whether you want gratification now, or whether you're willing to wait for the truth. If you want to go straight to Penis Watch on Neter News, we can't stop you, and we have to give you the link below. But please be kind enough to give my husband a rest with this before he finds out the truth and has to break it to Anubis.

Why not elevate the mind? Right next to you, the newest temple of Osiris is nearly ready for consecration. We suggest that you at least put in an appearance there. Especially if you like to sing. A special thinks to all you Celebrant Builders who've helped us put this pylon up.

MA'AT crosses to the TEMPLE PYLON to join the others in the DJED CEREMONY.


Where would you like to go?


I am Titillated For Sure. I want to go to the Neter News Penis Watch: Details at 11.


I can Postpone a Thrill. Let's See How Set Finds Osiris' Cave


Or Join Isis, Thoth and Anubis in Picking Up the Pieces


I Want to See Isis and Osiris Bring in Horus


I want to go on to Act Four


Or I can Choose from other Scenes


Or go to Stories of Thoth and Ma'at or the Playbill 


Copyright 2002 Dan Furst



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